The Person Everyone Relies On

There are some people who are very good at holding everything together. They’re the ones people turn to at work, at home and with friends. They’re capable, dependable and usually the person who just gets on with things. Because of that, people often assume they’re fine.

But there is a certain kind of exhaustion that can go with being the person everyone relies on. You get used to carrying things and you keep going because there are always things that need doing and people who need you. Sometimes you don't even stop to think about how you're actually feeling. You just get on with it. From the outside, everything can look completely fine, while underneath you might feel tired, overwhelmed, and disconnected from life. 

I think this can be particularly difficult when you’re used to being the strong one. You were perhaps brought up to be independent, or circumstances gave you the role of making everything right and this is where you got praise and love.

When people see you as capable, it can feel hard to say, actually, I’m struggling. You might even tell yourself that you should be able to cope, that other people have it worse, or that you don't really have a reason to feel the way you do. But you don't need to have everything falling apart to need some support.

Sometimes you just need somewhere to stop for a while. Somewhere you don't have to be the person who has all the answers. Somewhere you can say what you're really thinking and talk about what's going on without having to make it sound better than it is.

That's one of the things I value about therapy. Having the space to step out of the role for a while, take a breath and think about what you actually need. Because sometimes, the person everyone relies on needs somewhere to lean too.

Sarah x